Christmas trees make non-Christians feel excluded, researchers say

Merry Christmas! Now cut it out.

Researchers at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia, say a 12-inch Christmas tree caused non-Christians and/or those who don't celebrate the holiday to feel excluded, thereby lowering their sense of self-worth.

(Read the story on MSNBC.com)

Social psychologist Michael Schmitt, who led the study, said non-Christians and non-celebrants felt their sense of self worth lowered after entering the room with the tree, while all but one Christian/celebrant who participated felt their sense of self worth increased by seeing the tree.

He suggests toning down Christmas displays in public places to make non-Christians feel less left out.

But following that line of thought would lead to an entirely different conclusion.

(This is just a thought experiment, so don't get angry -- I'm only making a case full of Schmitt's own reasoning to show it's ridiculousness.)

Argument: Christian (X) and non-Christian (Y) each have a self-worth level of 5. (1 being lowest and 10 highest.) Each walks into the room without a Christmas tree. X and Y both leave the room still at self-worth level 5.

Next, X and Y walk into a room with a 12-inch Christmas tree. Y now feels worse about himself (down to level 3), but X feels better (up to level 8).

Our proposed solution is to remove the tree and leave both X and Y at level 5. This is great for Y, but worse for X. Should X be forced to suffer just so Y's feeling's won't be hurt? Maybe. But wouldn't a better solution be to raise both X and Y to level 8 -- or higher?

Now we need to figure out how to make that happen.

Ricky Gervais from 8 to ∞
In a related item, funnyman Ricky Gervais writes on The Wall Street Journal's Speakeasy blog on how his older brother convinced him within one hour to stop seeing Jesus as his hero at age 8 and become an disbeliever in God altogether.

Gervais says it doesn't bother him if others believe in a god, but there's no science for it, so he doesn't.

It's mostly an intelligent read, but he does pull out the canard that science is superior because, among other things, "It doesn’t hold on to medieval practices because they are tradition. If it did, you wouldn’t get a shot of penicillin, you’d pop a leach down your trousers and pray."

This argument always gets a bug up my bum because some (not all) scientists are so fond of saying that something isn't true unless it's been proved by science. Gervais himself argues in this very piece that it is impossible to prove God's existence through science, therefore it makes perfectly good sense that he doesn't exist.

By this reasoning, if someone had by happenstance mixed up a batch of penicillin during the Middle Ages it wouldn't have cured anything because there was no scientific research to prove that it would. Leaches would have worked better.

No, I can't prove through scientific methods the existence of anything outside this physical reality; I can prove it through spiritual methods. Anyone who doesn't have -- and doesn't want -- the instruments to measure those things can't see it.

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(Photo: Christmas Tree by Anna Cervova)

Elephant named Elephant? Not very creative

The Birmingham Zoo in Alabama has just added an elephant to its upcoming "Trails of Africa" exhibit.

They got the 29-year-old bull, named Buldwagi, from Disney in Florida, The Birmingham News reports.

Buldwagi, it turns out, means "elephant."

So the Disney people, who came up with Mickey for a mouse (after first coming up with Mortimer for same mouse), Donald for a duck and seven different names for dwarfs, could only think up to call an elephant Elephant. That's sad.

If I were raised by a pack of wolves I wouldn't want them just calling me Human in their wolf talk. Be creative. Think up something to do with my personality or appearance. If you look at a picture of Buldwagi you'll notice that he has only one tusk. He lost the other in an accident when he was very young.

There's you a name, right there: Unitusk. Or Accident-Prone. Or Piano Key Donor.

Wait, wait: Tusk Tisk.

Whatever you go with, he won't care. He doesn't speak human.

But, you're thinking, they don't actually call him Elephant; they call him Buldwagi, which, since he is an African elephant, is Swahili or something for elephant.

Not so. It's Seminole.

Yes, apparently there is a word in Seminole for elephant. Probably something descriptive, too, like "Giant With Snake Nose Who Dances with Uncreative Nomenclature Givers."

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Food court flash mob Hallelujah Chorus

Bible lesson at Christian School

The very first thing I'm going to say is that I do NOT approve of anyone striking anyone else.

Now, to the case of the Christian school teacher who was struck in the face by a parent in Mobile, Alabama.

Arlicia Yvonne Winbush (pictured) was charged with second-degree assault and disorderly conduct after police say she struck a teacher at Faith Academy in the left cheek.

Police told The Press-Register that Winbush entered the classroom “using loud, boisterous and profane language,” later, in the hallway, hitting the left side of the teacher's face.

Such behavior is call for arrest, and that's what happened. But the incident brings to light one of the hard sayings of Jesus:

"But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." -- Jesus (Matthew 5:39 NIV)

For a biblical literalist, this shouldn't be a hard one: The teacher was literally struck on the cheek. He/she should have turned the other one.

Not so fast: If you want to be uber-literal, it says if someone strikes you on the RIGHT cheek, you should turn the other one. The teacher allegedly was struck on the LEFT cheek. An out!

But anyone with half a brain knows that even a literal reading of the command would expend to being hit on the left. So should the teacher have stood there and taken it?

Maybe he/she did. The news account doesn't say. But there's also the consideration that children were present, and the teacher had a duty to protect them. Taking a literal beating might have spurred an enraged person to move on to more victims -- and ones more vulnerable no less.




pluck out your eye.

Smoking knocks off restaurant health department rating points

So the health department now is counting 4 points off a restaurant's score if smoking is allowed.

That's the case, at least, in Jefferson County, Alabama. I've just read the most recent health department ratings, and two restaurants had 4 points ticked off their scores because of the presence of second-hand smoke. One is a sports bar that probably serves only appetizers. Still, that qualified it for a health department inspection. The other was a chain restaurant. (A chain smoking restaurant, I suppose.)

I'm no proponent of smoking. In fact, I hate it. But the libertarian in me gets his dander up when a legal activity brings about a 4-point penalty. (The most serious infractions bring 4- and 5-point deductions.)

Further, the public is fully aware of the health risks of smoking. If someone walks into a restaurant, he or she can observe whether smoking is taking place, then leave if he or she so chooses. (If no one is smoking when one enters the establishment one may ask an employee whether there is a risk someone else might light up before one has finished one's meal.)

But food inspection is an entirely different deal altogether. You've got no way of knowing whether the cook washed his hands after his last trip to the loo or whether the raw chicken was left at room temperature for three days. It's a proper function of government to make sure neither of those things happened.

And businesses that allow smoking but don't serve food aren't given a score they're required by law to post in a prominent place, and that seems a little unfair.

I've sent a missive off to the Jeffco health dicks. I'll post their response if I get one.

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Photo by Anna Cervova via PublicDomainPictures.net.

On Christians and Halloween: Jesus with stinky breath is not Heaven

I got roped into going to one of those Judgement Houses once.

Instead of scaring you to death with monsters and killers, the intent of a Judgement House is to scare you into eternal life through showing poor life choices.

Typically held in church family life centers, you start out in a room of teenagers at some sort of social event then proceed to a room where a horrible accident has occurred and some of the teens have died.

Next, you're ushered into a funeral scene with crying friends and relatives, and then you go to Hell. There is fire and moaning, weeping an gnashing of teeth.

These are typically Protestant affairs, so you don't go to Purgatory. Still, your trip to Hell is short-lived and before you know it you're in Heaven.

The one I went to had us all stand in a line and have our fates pronounced by God the Father, portrayed by a man with multiple senior discount cards, but who still looked nothing like the painting on the Sistine Chapel ceiling. Instead, he was clean-shaven with with male-pattern baldness -- and wore glasses.

Glasses? Why would even an anthropomorphized God need glasses?

Well, anyway, it got worse.

I say that even though you'd think that having my name read from The Book of Life would be great. Yet once the Father had put on his glasses to read our names from the Book, Jesus showed up to welcome us to our eternal reward.

At least Jesus looked pretty much like his paintings: Long hair, beard, robe. Of European descent.

He started at one end of the line and welcomed each of us personally. Being a shy person and at the farther end of where he started, I was filled not with the Spirit but with dread -- which only increased in dreadfulness the closer he got.

He got closer and closer, and finally he got to me. I hated to break it to him, but had I already heard his speech when he told it to Jim, who was standing next to me.

He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. "Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world."

He had bad breath.

I wish when he'd opened that scroll a roll of Certs would've fallen out. (Wait a minute: Perhaps that was the Pergatory!)

Soon enough, though, his simple chronic halitosis was out of my face and on to Dave's. Then we walked through Heaven and out the back door, loaded up onto the church bus and were driven back to our cars.

At least people who go through haunted houses are happy to return to their normal lives. I got to go to Heaven then was told "Goodbye! Come back to see us!"

Should we celebrate Halloween?
Judgment Houses spring from the desire of some Christians to avoid celebrations of Halloween because of their non-Christian roots. Some churches and parents host harvest festivals or have their kids dress up as biblical characters.

I'm for following your own conscience on this -- as long as you don't drive other people away in the process.

For instance, an atheist friend of mine once noticed that his neighbors had put a sign up on their front door declaring that since they were followers of Christ they wouldn't be passing out candy on Oct. 31. This just ticked him off and gave kids a good reason why they shouldn't even consider being Christians.

In my own heart, I've decided to follow Jesus' command to "give to all who ask." So when kids in costumes knock on my door expecting candy I give them some. I don't throw Bible tracts in with the candy and don't tell them, "God bless you!" I just give them candy. I don't wear a costume or decorate my house for the occasion. And I buy only candy that doesn't have skulls, witches or bats on it. I'm making only a subtle statement, and they can't consciously tell that I am, but, combined with prayer, maybe I'll make an impact.

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Second Coming was in 1962?

Bad news: It looks like we missed the Second Coming. From the hairstyles and clothing in this picture I just got in the mail promoting a prophecy seminar, it happened in the early 1960s. (And, no, Don Draper didn't make the cut.) Click picture to enlarge.

Good thing there was no tarrying until today. Back then, all the redeemed cleaned up and donned their Sunday best for the event. Today we'd have met our Savior in T-shirts and flip-flops.

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