3 views of Genesis creation conference in Birmingham, Alabama (VIDEO)

Fixed Point Foundation, which normally presents debates between atheists and Christians, is putting on a four-day conference beginning tonight on three Christian views of creation. It will be held at Briarwood Presbyterian Church in Birmingham, Alabama. If you can't make it, check back here each day for my observations. And they usually make DVDs, CDs and mp3s of their events available for sale.

Here, Fixed Point Executive Director Larry Taunton explains what the conference is about:

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I'm losing everything into a black hole

Well, everything I own now is getting sucked into some vortex.

I wrote a check the other day and 10 minutes later I couldn't find the checkbook. I still haven't. I never left the house so I know it's in there.

Yes, I looked the last place I was. Yes, I've retraced my steps. If one more person tells me to do those things he's going to lose his head and I'm going to lose my freedom after the sheriff finds me.

Yes, I've looked in all those places ten thousand times, and so has my wife. When I saw her open the refrigerator door I assured her "I already looked in there -- and in the freezer, too."

So don't tell me to retrace my steps. We've torn the house apart. I've even checked the garbage -- piece by piece. Just in case, we're putting the garbage out at someone else's house. Our garbage runs so early we have to put it out overnight, so I don't want anyone grabbing my checkbook -- and my one credit card, which was in there, too.

I can live without the checks and the card. I can just move on to the next batch of checks and have a new card issued. I use the card only for online purchases anyway -- and rarely even that.

They're all in the house, so nobody's going to steal them. But it's the frustration of not being able to find something you know is there.

While looking I found a receipt for the Boston butt I couldn't find on the Saturday before Memorial Day. Happily, the barbecue joint took my word for it that I had indeed bought it.

Today, I lost my camera. It's a digital SLR, not a tiny point-and-shoot. There's no reason you can't find a camera that big. I think everything's been sucked into another dimension.

And I think my virginity's in there somewhere.

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Photo: NASA/Chandra X-ray Observatory

On eating a watermelon

I can’t believe I’m eating watermelon in the house. Watermelon was meant to be eaten outside. Is it age making me do it, or just plain laziness?

When I was a kid we ate watermelon only outside. It’s perfect when you’ve chilled it in the refrigerator, then you cut it open and dig in – preferably with the very knife you’ve just used to slice the melon open: a big butcher knife.

When I was a kid whoever cut the melon up ate with the big knife. The rest of us got the regular knife you normally used at the dinner table for cutting your steak. When it came to watermelon eating, sometimes company would prefer a spoon or a fork, but that meant incomplete cutting and/or picking out of seeds. I wanted no part of that.

You had to eat watermelon outdoors because the juice would run down your chin and all over your hands. You’d have to go to the hose to wash off before you could even go back in the house.

Indoor watermelon eating means you are in the air-conditioning, so you are robbed of the satisfaction of that cold sweet fruit chilling your mouth and then your belly in the hot, humid outdoors, perhaps after you've just finished an exhausting day of yard work.

Indoors, you also have to be oh-so-careful not to get that juice all over you – a waste of a good melon-eating experience. (I will give in on this, though: No wasps trying to steal your melon. And no ants, either.)

The eating

If you want the purest experience, first cut out the middle part – the heart – and save it for last. It’s the sweetest. The closer you get to the rind, the less sweet it gets. And don’t put salt on it. Why in the world do people put salt on their watermelon? You wouldn’t salt an ice cream sundae, would you? Then don’t put salt on a perfectly sweet watermelon. Get some common sense.

Anyhow, even though I’ve begun eating watermelon in the house I still eat it the same way as outside, so I have to stand over the kitchen sink. I will not concede to cutting it up into little squares to be eaten later off of a plate. That’s insanity. That’s “restaurant” eating. We are not talking about eating a piece of toast or a boiled egg, here. It should be a primal experience.

When you’ve eaten as much as you want, give the rest to your dog. Dogs will eat stuff that has rotted, so they’re no connoisseurs of tastiness. They’ll think that not-so-sweet stuff next to the rind is the best stuff they’ve ever tasted – and it is, compared to month-old bird intestines they likely ate this morning.

I’m sorry about that reference. It could put you off a perfectly good watermelon. Probably not, though, considering how good it is.

I’m actually a little concerned at my proclivity of late to eat watermelon in the house. If you see me reaching for a salt shaker anytime soon, please, I am begging you, stage an intervention.

Note that even my pooch, Mollie, above, doesn't eat the rind. And what's the deal with seedless watermelon? Nothing to spit!

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Photos: Greg Richter Photography

Why do grown men play video games?

They used to say the only difference between men and boys is the size of their toys. I haven't heard that saying in years -- probably because men and boys now play with the same toys: video games.

A recent report cited a tripling over last year of the number of women saying they filed for divorce because their husbands spent more time on video games than they do with their wives. This survey was about divorce causes, so it didn't even count the number of men who aren't able to get wives because they play video games too much.

So, what is the right amount of time for a grown man to play video games? I would think that it would be whatever amount they could stand after their children forced daddy to play with them. I would be wrong, of course.

Full disclosure: I am 46 years old and have hated video games ever since I was a teenager. I thought my friends were insane to spend hours at an arcade hunched over a "Space Invaders" or "Frogger" machine. There seemed to be no chance of winning; all you did was see how long you could play before you lost to the machine.

I got "Pong" for Christmas one year, and quickly tired of it. I could easily beat my little sister, but never beat the computer. My dad played me a few times, but he had actual grown-up responsibilities so he wasn't much for competition.

Later games became more complex, but they weren't any more interesting -- at least to me. But lots of men as old as I am and older not only play this stuff, they're among the nuts camping out overnight to be the first to buy the newest gaming devices, which cost hundreds of dollars.

My dad can fix almost anything under the hood of a car -- at least on pre-computer models. I can't do anything but check and change the oil and keep the other fluids and tire air pressure correct. But at least I'm not driving pretend cars around pretend racetracks or running over pretend hookers for points with them.

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Photo: Creative Commons by tcp909

I don't care what the Bible don't allow, gonna write with green ink anyhow

Quite a few Christians don't believe something in The Bible.

Even Christians who say they believe the Bible word-for-word.

To avoid getting off on a tangent arguing which verses we disagree about, let's make up an example that isn't actually in the Bible. How about: "Don't write with green ink." Let's say the Apostle Paul wrote this in III Goofians.

Some readers are going to foreswear green ink because the Bible forbids its use. Some of these foreswearers who are theologians will think up good reasons for the edict: Green represents the deadly sin envy, as in "green with envy," or perhaps the serpent who tempted Eve was a green snake. Others, who are just plain followers of the text (i.e. fundamentalists) simply note that green ink is a sin and avoid it.

Other readers who can't think of any logical reason not to use green ink -- or maybe they just think it's pretty -- will come up with reasons that this passage should be considered in context. Maybe in Paul's day you had to kill a kitten to produce green ink. Since catricide is no longer necessary to the process today, green ink is fine. Or maybe Paul was talking only to the Goofians because that city's culture associated green ink with worshiping false gods. Or maybe Paul never said it at all, and the green ink ban was put in later by makers of red ink who didn't want to change their business model.

Whatever the case, the disagreement brings about the creation of several churches based on either believing in or not believing in the green ink ban. Also, a publisher will get four theologians to contribute to a book titled "Four Views of Green Ink" in which this one verse of Scripture is dissected ad nauseam.

Then there's the whole loophole of writing in yellow, then tracing over it with blue. Is this sinful? After all, the intent is to produce green writing. Is it OK to write in green on computers since the text says "ink" and computers don't use ink?

Some people will say that anyone writing with green ink is going to hell. Others say that while green ink is clearly unbiblical, God's forgiveness is vast. And, in certain circumstances, green might be the only ink available with which to share the gospel in printed form. Is it better that the Word not be shared at all, or that it be shared in green?

In the end, the debate will not be settled, because I am right (no pun intended) and you are a child of perdition. Even though you think the same thing about me, that just makes you judgmental.

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Photo: Paper Mate

Saying goodbye to my pastor

Our pastor at Shades Valley Community Church just outside Birmingham, Alabama recently retired. This is a video I made to commemorate the event.

Westboro Baptist vs. the KKK

The Westboro Baptist Church protesters are so offensive even the Ku Klux Klan doesn’t like them.

According the The Atlantic Wire, members of Virginia Klan branch Knights of the Southern Cross were so disgusted that the Rev. Fred Phelps’ followers planned to protest a fallen soldier’s funeral at Arlington National Cemetery they showed up to counter-protest.

“That's fine. They have no moral authority on anything. People like them say it’s white power ... white supremacy. The Bible doesn’t say anywhere that it's an abomination to be born of a certain gender or race,” Phelps’ daughter, Abigail Phelps, told CNN.

A Klan spokesman on site noted that Westboro is wrong to protest the funerals of soldiers because it is the very fact that brave Americans have died that they even have the right to make such offensive gestures as holding up signs reading “God Hates Fags” while families are grieving. (The “church” says the U.S. is losing soldiers in war because of American society’s acceptance of homosexuality.)

Of course, a lot of those who have given their lives for our freedom of speech were black – or Jewish – or Catholic. Or many other things the “Christian” Knights of the Ku Klux Klan see as inferior to themselves, so there’s little else I agree with them about than that the Westboro bunch are morons.

The Westboro people do have every right to protest, but this so-called Christian organization – which is actually predominantly members of Phelps’ own family – has failed to follow the Scripture telling us to “rejoice with those who rejoice” and to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). Regardless of Westboro’s theology, they should be weeping with family members who have lost a loved one if they want to be more scriptural than the Klan.

They could protest a gay pride event if they feel God is calling them to speak out publicly against same-sex relationships. Regardless of whether you agree with Phelps, it seems like that would at least make some semblance of sense. Even then the offensive “God Hates Fags” signs would be out of place. In the first place, the Bible never uses slurs against homosexuals. Second, it never says God hates them.

There are certain actions the Bible says God hates. For instance, he says, “I hate divorce,” in Malachi 2:16. Phelps’ and family have made up at least a few signs that say “God Hates Divorce.” But the name of their website is not GodHatesDivorce.com, it’s GodHatesFags.com. And they refuse to use any word other than “fag” – evhen the neutral and biblical “homosexual.”

But using slurs and inaccuracies get them attention, as do protests at sites that have nothing to do with homosexuality. And they have to do what they can to get attention. God is on their side, but must be too weak to get attention for himself. Either that, or he refuses to associate himself with them.

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Photo: Some rights reserved by k763